Obesity Discussion Forums

[limichelle23]

It's not really a weight loss tip or a diet tip or even an exercise tip.

I want you guys to know that you are beautiful inside and when you know you are beautiful inside, you realize big or thin you are the same person.

When you realize you are beautiful inside you start to see it on the outside. You look at your eyes and think "I have really pretty eyes." Or "I really like the way I smile."

You start to stop noticing the double chin or the pudgy face.

When you look at your body, you don't look at the size you start to look at the cute top that you bought the other day.

Then something magical happens

Nobody can get to you. The critics of overweight people.

Because you start to have confidence the confidence you never felt before. You know longer feel awkward standing next to a thin person. You just look at the persons clothes and jot down ideas for yourself on what you want to wear when you get to your goal weight.


you stop day dreaming ahead you start day dreaming about the next time you work out which releases endorphines and makes you feel good.

you take small steps and with that you learn a great deal of patience. Which that patience will help you with anything you do in life.

Most of all you love yourself..you the person not the body the person so that one day when you made it to your goal weight you will still be happy.

You see I was never happy when I was skinny and I was never happy even when I became big not until now.

love yourself in the body you are in, in the moment you are in it.


Lisa

[Obesity Discussion]

Excellent piece of motivational advice. I couldn't agree more.

[LuLu Rogers]

Beautiful! That actually made me cry, wonderful advice.

[classylady]

I wish I can believe that. I don't right now. Although I've gotten compliments @ work about my weight-loss so far, I know that deep inside they're probably looking @ me and thinking that I've got a long way to go and/or that the only reason why I'm probably big is because I've been stuffing my face since birth. That's why when I go to a restaurant I can't sit in the booths because it only caters to smaller or "normal"-sized people. It's the reason that when I go on a roller coaster @ an amusement park that they put me in the "fat" row (i.e. the back row) where the restraints are larger. They can easily put restraints for big people on every row, but "choose" to single out the big guy thereby causing me even more embarrassment; and in front of a multitude of strangers who don't even know me.

Hair Dye

[regulachick]

Originally Posted by limichelle23

... love yourself in the body you are in, in the moment you are in it.


Lisa

Easier said than done! I have an advantage, I think, because my parents always told me I was beautiful and smart and could do whatever I set my mind to - and I believed them. I didn't get very heavy until I was in my late twenties, so I got a lot of affirmation on the beautiful part. I still do - but now, instead of "That's true," I think, "Yeah, but I'm fat."

I have hair and nails to die for, and beautiful eyes, and presence, and I look younger than I am, and I'm still smart, and people pay attention to me. I am well liked and respected, and I like and even love myself. I know what's under all this fat, and it's pretty good. I wouldn't want to change anything about it. BUT ... do I love my body, right now? No! Ain't gonna happen.

Fortunately, I believe (and know from experience) that I can change my body.

I just don't believe it's that easy to overcome beliefs about oneself that were established in childhood and reinforced through the years. If I'd been overweight as a child, I'm sure I'd have a totally different attitude.

Which is not to say I don't think it's a good practice to notice and appreciate our nice features. However, a person who hasn't gotten much positive feedback is going to have a hard time doing it.

[faith]

You made me cry, that's so beatiful and amazing, thank you so much for posting that.

[imaginedreamer]

That's so nice =]

[Ayla77]

Very motivational! I always need to remind myself to love myself! ...every single day. But I'm working on it!

Thanks for such a great post!

[monique]

It's SO true that self-esteem is the best motivator! Unfortunately for me I never thought I was pretty growing up. My mother was only ever told she was pretty growing up and always thought she was stupid, so she made a point of always telling my sisters and I how brilliant we were but went a little overboard trying not to make us vain.

And then when I hit puberty and all of a sudden grown men were hitting on me I had no idea what to do! I think letting myself put on weight through my teens was a way for me to avoid that attention that at the time I didn't trust or understand. Plus my thyroid condition made it really easy to do! It wasn't until I got to college and found myself still attracting some attention and complements despite my weight that I started to work on accepting myself as a sexual person and realize it was okay to get that kind of attention. I now think that for every fat person out there that hates themselves there is someone willing to love them if they just stop pushing everyone away! When my best friend (now husband of 2 years!) confessed that he was in love with me I had trouble believing it because I didn't think I was lovable or attractive and he was younger and cute and smart. Ideally it shouldn't take someone else to make us realize we are good people but in my case it really was a miracle how much better about myself I felt when I realized how loved I was. And now 5 years later having him tell me every day that he's proud of me for getting healthy and I'm beautiful no matter what my size is honestly is infinitely more motivational than having people tell me "you have such a pretty face!" and that horrible Weight Watchers adage that "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." Being thin feels exactly the same as being fat if you don't love yourself!

It's still a lot of work keeping track of calories and exercise and resisting cravings for sugar and fat and salt. But once you decide you DESERVE to be a healthy weight you're really ready to change your lifestyle for good.

Whew, sorry to be so preachy there but if you don't believe me now just wait until I reach my goal weight and prove it!

~Monique

[A_Hidden_Lovely]

Its true, we all seem to have those off days. I can admit currently, I am feeling that way but I give that to the string of hormones I am going through during the special time >.< This is actually getting me revved once its over to start this because I've been needing to find support from others not just my family. Being that my brother is very stubborn, I have to do this on my own. I want to set an example for him and more importantly to change my image. I do picture myself different, and deep down, one thing I fear is the change of heart. I've had friends who were overweight but they worked out sometimes and loss their weight but as soon as they did, they turned their back on everyone else and started living in anew. So I can admit to everyone here that that is one thing that I fear when I lose the weight. BUT, that cannot be the reason why I remain in this rut. I gotta break free, if it happens, which I pray it wont, I'll be happier that I've made myself healthier than ever before.

[gonefishin]

Originally Posted by classylady

I wish I can believe that. I don't right now. Although I've gotten compliments @ work about my weight-loss so far, I know that deep inside they're probably looking @ me and thinking that I've got a long way to go and/or that the only reason why I'm probably big is because I've been stuffing my face since birth. That's why when I go to a restaurant I can't sit in the booths because it only caters to smaller or "normal"-sized people. It's the reason that when I go on a roller coaster @ an amusement park that they put me in the "fat" row (i.e. the back row) where the restraints are larger. They can easily put restraints for big people on every row, but "choose" to single out the big guy thereby causing me even more embarrassment; and in front of a multitude of strangers who don't even know me.

Hair Dye

The booth thing really ticks me off. Why make it so your best customers can't fit?? Not very good marketing. But I guess I've got to start thinking differently.

[monique]

This is interesting to me because even though I got up to probably 375, I have never not been able to fit in a restaurant booth. Sometimes they are snug though.

AIRPLANE seats, however!!! Those are just smaller than the average behind if you ask me!

~Monique

[Jeepgrl-Crystal]

limichele23 - Thank you so much for posting that. Reading it really made me think about myself and what I see. Since the ripe age of 10-11, I started to fill out. The days of once being extremely thin and eating like a bird were quickly a distant memory. I quickly noticed that I looked nothing like my friends...I had thighs and a waist that were increasing in size, yet I was still a nice hourglass shape. Then in high school, all the guys wanted to date me. I was very curvy, yet thin...I surprisingly, wasn't very happy. I had a rough teen period...mostly because my parents divorced and I had no idea what was happening to me. I continued to fill out and met my high school sweetheart who loved me dearly. As I ballooned to 210 lbs by senior year, here was my 150 lb b/f, right by my side. Eventually that relationship ended but all growing up, my dad, family and friends would tell me how beautiful I was. Now that i'm at 266 lbs, I feel horrible. I'm soo unhappy with myself and I realized just yesterday, that I actually take it out on other family members. They don't deserve that and I need to get myself under control. I no longer get "hit" on, or approached when i'm out. Looking at myself as a single 28 yr old woman with a great job and some wonderful hobbies, that are even appealing to men, I still can't understand why i'm the single one....I think to myself, what am I doing wrong??? But reading your post today, made me feel good about myself and helped me to refocus on my journey in life. I can honestly tell myself right now, that I can do it!

Thank you!
Crystal

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by A_Hidden_Lovely

Its true, we all seem to have those off days. I can admit currently, I am feeling that way but I give that to the string of hormones I am going through during the special time >.< This is actually getting me revved once its over to start this because I've been needing to find support from others not just my family. Being that my brother is very stubborn, I have to do this on my own. I want to set an example for him and more importantly to change my image. I do picture myself different, and deep down, one thing I fear is the change of heart. I've had friends who were overweight but they worked out sometimes and loss their weight but as soon as they did, they turned their back on everyone else and started living in anew. So I can admit to everyone here that that is one thing that I fear when I lose the weight. BUT, that cannot be the reason why I remain in this rut. I gotta break free, if it happens, which I pray it wont, I'll be happier that I've made myself healthier than ever before.

It seems you've learned some lessons from your friends' actions, just don't fall into the same trap!

Originally Posted by Ayla77

Very motivational! I always need to remind myself to love myself! ...every single day. But I'm working on it!

I forget to do this too sometimes.

Originally Posted by regulachick

Easier said than done! I have an advantage, I think, because my parents always told me I was beautiful and smart and could do whatever I set my mind to - and I believed them. I didn't get very heavy until I was in my late twenties, so I got a lot of affirmation on the beautiful part. I still do - but now, instead of "That's true," I think, "Yeah, but I'm fat."

I have hair and nails to die for, and beautiful eyes, and presence, and I look younger than I am, and I'm still smart, and people pay attention to me. I am well liked and respected, and I like and even love myself. I know what's under all this fat, and it's pretty good. I wouldn't want to change anything about it. BUT ... do I love my body, right now? No! Ain't gonna happen.

Fortunately, I believe (and know from experience) that I can change my body.

I just don't believe it's that easy to overcome beliefs about oneself that were established in childhood and reinforced through the years. If I'd been overweight as a child, I'm sure I'd have a totally different attitude.

Which is not to say I don't think it's a good practice to notice and appreciate our nice features. However, a person who hasn't gotten much positive feedback is going to have a hard time doing it.

Those are excellent points, once you get over the initial hump some people feel losing the weight has a snowball effect....as you lose the weight you gain more and more confidence, people start complementing you, you look better, feel better, etc.....

I do think childhood has a huge impact on personality, no denying that.

Originally Posted by Jeepgrl-Crystal

limichele23 - Thank you so much for posting that. Reading it really made me think about myself and what I see. Since the ripe age of 10-11, I started to fill out. The days of once being extremely thin and eating like a bird were quickly a distant memory. I quickly noticed that I looked nothing like my friends...I had thighs and a waist that were increasing in size, yet I was still a nice hourglass shape. Then in high school, all the guys wanted to date me. I was very curvy, yet thin...I surprisingly, wasn't very happy. I had a rough teen period...mostly because my parents divorced and I had no idea what was happening to me. I continued to fill out and met my high school sweetheart who loved me dearly. As I ballooned to 210 lbs by senior year, here was my 150 lb b/f, right by my side. Eventually that relationship ended but all growing up, my dad, family and friends would tell me how beautiful I was. Now that i'm at 266 lbs, I feel horrible. I'm soo unhappy with myself and I realized just yesterday, that I actually take it out on other family members. They don't deserve that and I need to get myself under control. I no longer get "hit" on, or approached when i'm out. Looking at myself as a single 28 yr old woman with a great job and some wonderful hobbies, that are even appealing to men, I still can't understand why i'm the single one....I think to myself, what am I doing wrong??? But reading your post today, made me feel good about myself and helped me to refocus on my journey in life. I can honestly tell myself right now, that I can do it!

Thank you!
Crystal

Crystal, what's important is inside, not outside, and we'll be here to cheer you on your new new journey in life. I'm sure you'll do great!

[noahsmommy]

Today is my first day on the forum and this was the perfect start to my journey. Thanks for your kind words.

[SentinelBasch]

Lisa, you are so very right, but as others have pointed out, it's so much easier said than done. I truly believe that all of us are beautifully and wonderfully made, that we are all beautiful in our own way. I have grown up with a completely opposite mentality, however, and that is very difficult to shake.

I know, too, that even if I reach my ideal weight, I will never really be happy with myself until I'm able to learn this lesson. There's nothing I can do, really, except continue to reinforce it and hope it sinks in someday.

[SimplySeppy]

I accepted myself years ago, but it blinded me to my increasing girth until here recently when the pain of my joints set in! I still feel I'm beautiful, but now I also realize that I need to be healthy in my acceptance of self.