Obesity Discussion Forums

[MamaBear]

OK... once again I find myself watching TLC late at night with the sound muted as I am nursing the baby back to sleep. LOL!

When I saw the title flash for this show, I just groaned. It had such a PT Barnum feel... like TLC was telling me to "step right up" and check out the freakshow. Of course, I didn't change the channel... sooooo....

The storyline turned out to be fairly interesting. A guy in his late twenties/early thirties goes from 650 lbs to 220 lbs -- without gastric bypass! He was very candid in sharing where he was at when he decided he needed to lose weight. He said he had three options- (1) surgery (which he knew was risky at his weight) (2) suicide (it was heartbreaking how he planned to do it - he didn't want to have a body left behind for people to make fun of ) or (3) the "natural" way. He decided to go with option 3.

So he hires a personal trainer. They become good friends. He loses massive amounts of weight. Apparently he became a local celebrity. A plastic surgeon offered to remove his excess skin for free (25 lbs worth!), he got some work done on his face for free, laser eye surgery for free, and cosmetic dental surgery for free. In the end, he was unrecognizable but a pretty good looking guy.

The show focused on his struggle to date and interact with women. He had a flirt coach and hired a matchmaker. The story ended before he found "true love", but I suspect he'll be getting some offers through TLC fans. He works as a personal trainer now. I think he and his friend (his own personal trainer) were trying to put together some sort of marketable diet or exercise program.

So that was it. The show itself was much more tender-hearted than the title would lead you to believe. I thought the most amazing thing was that he did it without surgery (aside from the plastic surgery).

Just thought some of you may be interested to hear his story.

[MichaelB]

Nice. The title of the thread (and TV show) made me cringe, but I'm glad to hear the story was more sensitive/inspirational than their title would lead you to believe.

Such is life in the age of Jerry Springer. I'm so over the "shocker" headlines.

[MamaBear]

I totally agree.... there are so many things wrong with that title, I don't even know where to begin.

I think what bothers me the most is the assumption that this is how this young man should be defined. By his weight and his sexual practices. Ridiculous. But I guess The Intelligent, Complex, Compassionate, Multifaceted Young Man wouldn't get as many viewers.

I always feel a bit ashamed of myself when I watch these TLC shows. Does TLC really stand for The Learning Channel?? (Of course, I remember when Mtv was about music...)

But... anyway... yeah, his personal story was quite compelling. I have no idea why we needed to know that he was a virgin, though.

[monique]

I'm glad the show wasn't as shallow as it sounded! But I think the fact that for a man under 30 to be a virgin is seen as a bad thing is a symptom of how much we devalue sex in American society. Like it's supposed to be a normal, casual weekend hobby unless there's something wrong with you! What's wrong with holding out for true love to have sex? A lot of us don't meet the right person right away. If he'd hired a prostitute or settled for a random one-night-stand would that make him more normal to TLC?

I would imagine being 650 pounds would be very limiting, and make it hard to go out on a date due to mobility issues. But I think it's pretty sad that a person would need plastic surgery before they felt like they could get a date, and sadder still that the point of dating would be getting laid! Remember when waiting for marriage to have sex was still considered romantic? Not that I was quite that patient myself, but I know people who were and I think it's very sweet.

~Monique

[MichaelB]

FWIW, I wouldn't get too riled up about the "Virgin" part of the title (other than the fact that it's there mainly for shock/entertainment value). It's just a play on the title of the Steve Carell / Judd Apatow flick The 40 Year Old Virgin.

[monique]

Yeah MichaelB, but the message of that movie was that he was okay the way he was and he ended up telling his friends to respect his choice and STAYING a virgin until he was ready to have sex with the woman he loved and eventually married. I think the point made in that movie was that judging someone for being a virgin is wrong, whereas it sounds like this show was all about de-virginizing the guy with a matchmaker and flirting coach. Not that I have anything against sex!!!! But I think a show that makes losing 400 pounds and turning your life around into just part of his road to getting sex is kind of belittling the guy's accomplishment.

~Monique

[MamaBear]

Originally Posted by MichaelB

FWIW, I wouldn't get too riled up about the "Virgin" part of the title (other than the fact that it's there mainly for shock/entertainment value). It's just a play on the title of the Steve Carell / Judd Apatow flick The 40 Year Old Virgin.

I'm probably outing myself for having a juvenile sense of humor - but I thought that movie was hilarious. It was actually surprisingly sweet too. (My husband and I just went to see The Hangover, which was also surprisingly funny. In anyone else's hands it would have just been a lame drunken fratboy sort of movie... but in Apatow's hands it was great. Zach Galifanakis is a genius too.)

I think you are right that it is a play on words in reference to that movie title... but it still is just... what's the word?... not right.

In TLC's defense, they were probably looking for a unique storyline. Something different than the typical weight loss story. But, I found his story compelling enough without knowing the status of his virginity. I think that finding a partner was a very real issue for him, but I think that could have been explored without having to put his virginity at the forefront.

[SentinelBasch]

Originally Posted by MamaBear

But I guess The Intelligent, Complex, Compassionate, Multifaceted Young Man wouldn't get as many viewers.

That just about sums it up. I suppose putting the word virgin in the title automatically peaks many people's interests.

There are practically no limits to what they'll make fun of on TV, and virginity is certainly no exception. It's sad, really, because many people's lives are so heavily influenced by the media that they can't take such things as face value. Rather, they accept them as law, and struggle to fit into those standards, losing sight of themselves in the process.

Fortunately, while I do have many physical insecurities, I'm pretty self-secure mentally. I acknowledge that I'm different in many ways from what society says I should be, and that's OK - yes, I cry during movies, no, I'm not quite as visual as many guys are, and yes, I am still a virgin, and proud to be. Am I just supposed to go out here and have sex because people say it's the "normal" thing to do? That's not a very smart reason to do anything. If it happens one day, it does, and if it doesn't, then it doesn't. Besides, if we were all the same, life wouldn't be nearly as interesting, would it?

That's quite an accomplishment for that man on TLC. Good for him!

[monique]

Bravo SentinelBasch!

I know being a virgin at 23 was a bit of an embarrassment for me. I would generally not advertise it because of the assumption that "if you COULD have had sex, you would have!" I don't regret the decision to wait for love at all, it was completely the right thing for me because I am just too sentimental to have that experience with someone I didn't love deeply. And I always figured Mother Theresa had a pretty fulfilling life without sex! But it's often true that by the time you're out of college "virgin" is synonymous with "loser." My hope is that with the world starting to respect the differences in people's sexuality more, that respect will start to extend to those who don't choose to be sexually active as well.

~Monique

[Jasmine130]

Now I'm really intrigued. Usually TLC replays shows, I'm going to search for it and record it. It is so inspiring to see folks transform themselves. I truly, truly hope he maintains his weight loss. I get concerned about shows such as Biggest Loser as it seems a lot of those folks who lose weight in the "unnatural" environment of producing the show. What happens when they get back to real life? I don't know what kind of support is offered them afterwards, if any.

But since we're hearing about this man AFTER he lost the weight, hopefully he's made solid life changes that will endure over time. Yay him!

[Obesity Discussion]

I ended up watching the 650lb virgin on TLC a few days ago, and thought it was very positive and inspiring, and should be for anyone looking to lose weight naturally, because he lost about 400lbs that way!

I should not have been amazed at how anti-social he was, but yet I was. Every time he talked to a woman it was like he was trying to ask out his first crush on a date. That was a little painful, and a few hours of coaching from an "expert" won't fix that. The boy needs to get out in the field!

As he gets his skin fixed up some more he should gain even more confidence, as it seems he was still not content with some of the skin issues he was having.

Hopefully this guy gets some !

[Chrisydj]

I dont have TLC...this sounds like a very inspiring show

[MamaBear]

Originally Posted by Obesity Discussion

I should not have been amazed at how anti-social he was, but yet I was. Every time he talked to a woman it was like he was trying to ask out his first crush on a date. That was a little painful, and a few hours of coaching from an "expert" won't fix that. The boy needs to get out in the field!

I thought he was awkward, but not that bad... but then again I had it on mute and was reading subtitles. Anyone can sound suave in your head when you are just reading their words.

He seemed like a great guy. I hope he finds a sweet woman who will be gentle with him and help boost his confidence. (Not that he needs a woman to be confident... but you know what i mean.)

Jasmine - they do tend to replay shows on TLC a TON. I don't see it listed in the near future, but you can sign up to get an e-mail before it airs: TLC :: TV Listings :: 650-lb Virgin


ETA: Today I found myself wondering if he knew the title of the show was going to be The 650 lb Virgin. Surely that wasn't the working title.

[Ninetails]

I found it sad that they decided to market the fact he was a virgin in order to attract viewers, because you know that when you mention someone is a virgin in a show title, you'll get interested viewers. I figured just mentioning the fact that he lost over 400 pounds without gastric bypass or any other kind of surgery would have been interesting enough.
What it really says to me is that people are more interested in a sex motif for shows than the actual achievements itself. I don't like it. But, I'm happy for a fellow Phoenician to lose all that weight and I'm holding him in mind while I do my diet.

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by MamaBear

I thought he was awkward, but not that bad... but then again I had it on mute and was reading subtitles. Anyone can sound suave in your head when you are just reading their words.

He seemed like a great guy. I hope he finds a sweet woman who will be gentle with him and help boost his confidence. (Not that he needs a woman to be confident... but you know what i mean.)

Jasmine - they do tend to replay shows on TLC a TON. I don't see it listed in the near future, but you can sign up to get an e-mail before it airs: TLC :: TV Listings :: 650-lb Virgin


ETA: Today I found myself wondering if he knew the title of the show was going to be The 650 lb Virgin. Surely that wasn't the working title.

Maybe he did know and maybe that was something he was compensated for or was just part of the agreement? I do wonder though if he'd be willing to go through with that....he just doesn't seem the type to advertise something like that.

Originally Posted by Ninetails

I found it sad that they decided to market the fact he was a virgin in order to attract viewers, because you know that when you mention someone is a virgin in a show title, you'll get interested viewers. I figured just mentioning the fact that he lost over 400 pounds without gastric bypass or any other kind of surgery would have been interesting enough.
What it really says to me is that people are more interested in a sex motif for shows than the actual achievements itself. I don't like it. But, I'm happy for a fellow Phoenician to lose all that weight and I'm holding him in mind while I do my diet.

It's all marketing. Sex sells..... but I'll tell you what, it's probably worth say $100k to TLC to be able to have that name for the extra publicity, and for a $100k, you could call me whatever you wanted. From a marketing perspective I think it's a great idea. Morally? Heck no.

I didn't realize he was from Phoenix! We'll have to go find him!

[SentinelBasch]

Wow, all sorts of Phoenicians here. I smell a conspiracy...

[Obesity Discussion]

Anyone see the new 650 lb virgin episodes that have been on? Of course now there is the half ton teen episode following in the 650 lb virgin episode's footsteps. I really hope he can change his mentality, because he still has that non-confident 650 lb virgin mindset.

[Clovenhoof]

This guy ended up making out with 3 women friends and then having sex with one of them. Wow.... Didn't think it'd turn out like that! lol I wish he hadn't gone into detail about it. Me and my brother also predicted that he would end up dating the masseuse. I do relate to him in someways though, in that I have a lot of social anxiety and struggle with depression. I don't think I was ever quite as awkward though....

Other than the virgin part of the story, I can say his weight loss success was very inspiring and has recently helped me get back on track with my diet and exercise.

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by Clovenhoof

This guy ended up making out with 3 women friends and then having sex with one of them. Wow.... Didn't think it'd turn out like that! lol I wish he hadn't gone into detail about it. Me and my brother also predicted that he would end up dating the masseuse. I do relate to him in someways though, in that I have a lot of social anxiety and struggle with depression. I don't think I was ever quite as awkward though....

Other than the virgin part of the story, I can say his weight loss success was very inspiring and has recently helped me get back on track with my diet and exercise.

From a 650 lb virgin to this. Who'd have thunk it? I bet in his wildest dreams he never thought he'd go from a 650 lb virgin to Don Juan! Do you think the some of the reason he got all this action was due to sympathy since he was a 650 lb virgin at one time?

[Griffin]

Originally Posted by MamaBear

So that was it. The show itself was much more tender-hearted than the title would lead you to believe. I thought the most amazing thing was that he did it without surgery (aside from the plastic surgery).

I'm always thrilled to hear about people who lost a lot of weight without the help of weight-loss surgery.

TLC is weird. They've always got to put an outrageous spin on everything. And it seems like no one really has their life together if they are on TLC (or at least that's the angle they show).