Obesity Discussion Forums

[stephanieee]

Hi all, my name is Stephanie and I'm a 20 year old student. I currently weigh about 228lbs and am 5ft 6in tall. I've been "bigger" my whole life, but never this big. I eat because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because of my size. I tried South Beach (and stopped after a week) and was successful (as successful as you can be in a week, I think I lost about 6lbs, but it's back of course). My grandmother who has struggled with her weight her whole life always tells me that I need to have more self-control, as if I didn't know that already? I just find it so hard to have self-control when I'm so hopeless about this situation.

I try to go to the gym but I get so winded after a little while of doing cardio, it's so annoying to me because I have been an athlete my entire life and now I am so out of shape. I almost didn't go to work on Sunday because I was so upset about the way I looked. I've never had a self image problem before and I just don't know what to do

Hopefully this website will help me out.

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by stephanieee

Hi all, my name is Stephanie and I'm a 20 year old student. I currently weigh about 228lbs and am 5ft 6in tall. I've been "bigger" my whole life, but never this big. I eat because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because of my size. I tried South Beach (and stopped after a week) and was successful (as successful as you can be in a week, I think I lost about 6lbs, but it's back of course). My grandmother who has struggled with her weight her whole life always tells me that I need to have more self-control, as if I didn't know that already? I just find it so hard to have self-control when I'm so hopeless about this situation.

I try to go to the gym but I get so winded after a little while of doing cardio, it's so annoying to me because I have been an athlete my entire life and now I am so out of shape. I almost didn't go to work on Sunday because I was so upset about the way I looked. I've never had a self image problem before and I just don't know what to do

Hopefully this website will help me out.

Hi there, and welcome! As much as you want to tackle this, the key from the get go is to be mentally prepared for this. If your mind isn't into it you have one huge obstacle in your way.

You'll find nothing but a great support group with a number of tips/tricks to help you along your journey.

Everyone is different, maybe for you it might be easier to tackle a few small things at first instead of diving head first with a big change to both your eating and exercise habits. Maybe work on eating first and exercise second?

Regarding south beach, while I'm a fan of a lot of their foods, what we tend to emphasize here is that diets don't work. They're a short term solution to a long term problem. In the long run it'll take a lifestyle change for you to lose the weight and keep it off for good. And that's where we come in. We encourage people to reduce the amount of calories they eat via calorie counting or some other method, and can help you figure out how many calories you should look to eat on average each day in order to achieve your weight loss goals.

[matt007]

Welcome to the site Stephanie. It's hard to lose weight, but it's something you can do if you want it enough and put together a good plan. You have 2 big advantages you're younger than most of us on this site and you weigh less than most of us started at on this site.

Even if you just make one small positive change it's still a change for the better. And sometimes a positive change will improve your outlook enough that it's easier to make that next positive change. Small steps still get you forward even if it's not as fast.

[kiersenn]

Hi, I know the gym can be frustrating. I find it easier to start where you feel comfortable and push yourself a little bit everyday. If you go too hard to fast you just end up burning yourself out before you can see results. Hang in there.
I also struggle with depression, again frustrating to feel stuck in your own body, lots of times I feel like a giant frosted cake and I just cant get the frosting off (weird metophore, o well), just remember whenever the scales show you something you dont want to see, remind yourself that you are working on becoming a better person. Whenever I get down on myself I tell myself "in time" and it just helps to know you are doing something about it and you can make it work.
good luck

[stephanieee]

Thank you everyone. I am transferring colleges this coming fall and I am hoping to lose at least a decent amount of weight by then so that really is going to be a good motivation to me.

[monique]

Welcome Stephanieee and Keirsenn!

I agree with the Administrator that the mental aspect is the real key. If you trust and believe that you can stay on track, then you can! Me, I'd tried to lose weight a couple times before and nothing ever lasted longer than a couple months, I would work hard and then burn out when I didn't feel like it was "worth it" for the results. This time I'm doing much better because I think I'm being more realistic. Losing 2 pounds a week for a year is a lot more doable for me than losing 5 pounds a week for 20 weeks would be. Just do what you can towards your goal and be patient. If you have a setback, just start over! This is not an all-or-nothing thing, so don't feel bad if you have to start slow.

Good luck and remember everyone here knows what you're going through.

~Monique

[tahtimbo]

To add my two cents (all I can afford, recession you know), you should try and ease into the exercise thing. Exercise does not have to involve going to the gym, why not try just walking more? If there is a mall in your area, it would be great to just walk around the inside (many even open their doors early to people who want to exercise). Swimming is another great way to have fun and exercise. Start slow and the stamina will come. Weight loss can be a very frustrating thing (boy, do I know this), but you need to look at what you have already accomplished, not on how far you have to go. You have already lost 12 pounds, which is a fantastic achievement. Concentrate on that. You can do this and you are not in this alone...we are all in this together.

[Jasmine130]

Welcome Stephanie....

One of the great things about this website is that you are amongst people who really understand what this struggle is like. Good for you for reaching out for support! Grandmothers (and other friends and family) mean well, but often their advice just doesn't fit our situation.

In my own journey, I've learned that self-control really won't give me any lasting results. My self-control is unreliable. My willpower can crumble in a split-second. Basically, while there are a lot of things in my life that I *can* do well, controlling my compulsive overeating is not one of them. I am addicted. There are certain foods that I can't put into my body without setting off uncontrollable cravings. It was obvious to many others in my life, but it took me a long time to come to terms with my problems.

We're all behind you here Stephanie, cheering you on and wishing you every good success in this journey!

[bgmike64]

Welcome Stephanie,
Don't give give up gurrrl!! The best thing you did was reach out to your friends on this website. No diet is foolproof and you may have to tweak them by adding what works best for you. You say that you were athletic, so you have that competitive mentality inside of you already. By all means, keep at it and we'll have your back as long as you want it yourself.

[SAGirl]

Hi Stephanie.

Moving to a new college is great motivation to lose the weight. It can be like a new start at a new place in a new body! Keep at it!

I suffered with depression for years and my waistline seemed to grow as my depression did. You are not alone and I think you will find that people on this site have plenty of tips and support for you.
My family also lecture me about having self control when it comes to food. I have found that the more I nod and less I actually listen to them... the less it affects me when they give their 'advice'

The fact that you even went to gym means you are ahead of me in a way. I can't go to gym as I am too ashamed of how I look.

With the help of this site, an eating plan and light exercise I am determined to get into better shape. Don't be too nervous of the eating plan either. If you start by simply having a maximum amount of calories everyday, you will find there are some really yummy things you can still eat. It's just smaller amounts.
I would never give up my favourite things completely, as I am a weakling for 'bad' food so if I can stick to an eating plan then so can you!

Looking forward to seeing your progress!

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by stephanieee

Thank you everyone. I am transferring colleges this coming fall and I am hoping to lose at least a decent amount of weight by then so that really is going to be a good motivation to me.

What college are you going to? Any ideas on your major/career path?

Originally Posted by tahtimbo

To add my two cents (all I can afford, recession you know), you should try and ease into the exercise thing. Exercise does not have to involve going to the gym, why not try just walking more? If there is a mall in your area, it would be great to just walk around the inside (many even open their doors early to people who want to exercise). Swimming is another great way to have fun and exercise. Start slow and the stamina will come. Weight loss can be a very frustrating thing (boy, do I know this), but you need to look at what you have already accomplished, not on how far you have to go. You have already lost 12 pounds, which is a fantastic achievement. Concentrate on that. You can do this and you are not in this alone...we are all in this together.

Bingo!!! Very well said!!!

Originally Posted by bgmike64

No diet is foolproof and you may have to tweak them by adding what works best for you.

[SentinelBasch]

Welcome, Stephanie!

It's tough being an emotional eater. Have you tried "emotion mapping"? It's where you write down various emotions and what you tend to do when you feel each of those emotions. After a while of analyzing their habits on an emotion by emotion level, some people are able to rewire their actions.

Feeling hopeless is a terrible place to be. As long as you have hope, there's always a chance. Make it a point to do things that make you happy - not for anyone else, but for you. You never lose the war unless you lose hope.

I agree - you don't have to go to the gym to do cardio. You also don't have to start out with some big health regimen. Start out by making slow and gradual changes. If you drink soda, work on replacing it with water. Try to replace your white carbs with whole wheat ones. Get out of the house and walk, even if it's just for 10 minutes. Little by little, you'll start to forge the habits that you need to keep your weight off for life.

Best of luck to you, and keep us updated.

[AlexC]

Hi Stephanie,

My heart really goes out to you. I can literally feel your pain through your words there.

One thing that you absolutely must remember, any time you're feeling down, is that you are 20. No weight loss is easy, but you've got every single advantage in the world going for you. (so chin up babe!)

Your metabolism is going to be the super-high metabolism of a 20 year old.
Your skin is going to be all nice and elastic!

And there's something else that everyone in their 30's knows about everyone in their 20's ... nobody in their 20's is bad looking.

As terrible as you might *think* you look. You don't ... not by a long shot.
You're gorgeous, trust me, you might not know it, but you are.

*FINALLY* as some others have said, there is a lot of good info out there about how to calculate the number of calories you should take in (look up Basal Metabolic Rate).

Find out what your magic number is, eat from 250 to 500 calories less than that every day.

Lift weights! Don't worry, girls don't get to look like those hardcore body builder women without drugs. (or a ridiculous amount of work, but usually, it's drugs)

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, or a paid advertisement for the guy... I really strongly recommend looking up "Tom Venuto" and reading his book "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle". (Honestly I make nothing out of that, it's just the best & most complete guide to eating I've ever read).

I won't say good luck, because luck has nothing to do with it here. Losing weight is not random, you get out what you don't put in.

Instead, I'll say you can do it.
- A.


[EDIT] I went online and found a Basal Metabolic Rate calculation for you.
1863 calories per day. Eat less than that and you will lose weight.
When you reach your goal weight of 150, your BMR will go down to roughly 1500.
Essentially, if you consume 1500 calories a day, you will eventually be 150lbs.

You're a student though... remember that calories in alcohol counts!

[EDIT 2]
Also: do yourself a favor. grab a digital camera, a bikini, and either a tripod, your best friend or a mirror. Take a good old fashioned "before" picture.

Hang onto it. You might not even be able to bear looking at it now - but - trust me on this... you will *LOVE* having it later.

Oh How I wish I had a proper before picture ... but I spent about 3 years hiding from cameras.

If you click on my profile link to the left there you can see an album I put up. I am really proud of those "during" pics... and after is going to be the sweetest feeling ever!

[Boxerbaby]

Hi there! I am new here too and can understand the frustration of once being an athlete and now not being able to do much exercise at all. I get embarrassed at the gym. It has taken me a few years to figure out that I shouldn't care how much I am doing, just start by doing something. Someone here mentioned that I have an advantage because I was an athlete earlier in my life and that has put a new perspective on things. It is kinda encouraging. I hope that you can see it that way too :-)

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by AlexC

*FINALLY* as some others have said, there is a lot of good info out there about how to calculate the number of calories you should take in (look up Basal Metabolic Rate).

Find out what your magic number is, eat from 250 to 500 calories less than that every day.

Lift weights! Don't worry, girls don't get to look like those hardcore body builder women without drugs. (or a ridiculous amount of work, but usually, it's drugs)
[EDIT] I went online and found a Basal Metabolic Rate calculation for you.
1863 calories per day. Eat less than that and you will lose weight.
When you reach your goal weight of 150, your BMR will go down to roughly 1500.
Essentially, if you consume 1500 calories a day, you will eventually be 150lbs.

The calorie deficit she should look to create should depend on her weight loss goals. A calorie deficit of 250 calories is only going to allow her to lose half a pound of fat a week. A 500 calorie daily deficit would yield roughly a 1lb weight loss a week. You also need to factor in how much exercise one is going to get on average before determining a calorie level to shoot for.


I totally agree on lifting weights.....and getting a good amount of protein in your diet. Both help maintain your muscle/tone while you lose weight.

I don't go by just the basal metabolic....even if she is inactive, I show her burning about 2200 calories a day.

If she wants to lose about a lb a week with no physical activity I show she should look to eat roughly 1700 calories a day, or eat 1200 calories a day to lose 2lbs a week.

If she's lightly active phsycially, that would change her eating requirements to about 2050 calories a day to lose 1lb a week, or 1550 calories a day to lose 2lbs. a week.