Obesity Discussion Forums

[rossmann]

Hey all,


My name is Ross. When I was a kid growing up, I was in great shape. I only ate what my parents provided. I was able to run the mile back in middle school in just under 6 minutes. As time progressed, and I got older, issues came up. I no longer was bound by what my parents provided to eat, I had money and other resources at my disposal, to eat whatever I wished. And I did just that. I was about 180 pounds when I entered high school, at about 6'2'' tall. When I left and graduated high school, I was a massive 290 pounds. I changed dramatically, for the worse. When I was taken off anti-depressants, I lost around 40 pounds, making me 250 pounds even. I then went on my first ever diet around two years ago. I got down to 200 pounds! I was so happy! Then as time passed again, I did not change my eating habits. I got up to 275 pounds about a month ago. I am now back on my diet, and am 247 pounds. I am currently 6'4'' tall. I feel horrible, I hate myself and wish I was someone else.


I am almost 23 years of age. I have never had a girlfriend, never had a girl pay any attention to me, any filtering, nothing. And I fear my weight might play a role. I am horribly depressed all the time, and hate everything. All I want is to look good, and be healthy. My friends always call me fat ass and stuff. Even if it is in coarse joking, it still makes me sad. I feel like a mushy, weak, disgusting blob of garbage. I am afraid I'll yo-yo diet my whole life. I just don't know what to do. It is just so hard.



~Ross

[monique]

Welcome Ross!

I don't know if this helps, but I think 247 and 6'4" is a really attractive size. I worked in menswear for years and whenever I measured a big tall guy in like the 40-44 pants, 44-48 coat range I thought he was cute! So don't feel disgusting, you might not look like an Abercrombie model but some of us like the teddy-bear type!

I also wonder if going off anti-depressants was the right move if you're finding yourself horribly depressed all the time. Thinking you'll yo-yo your whole life is premature! 23 is still really young and you just have to find a balance between eating whatever you want and being on a diet. It might take a while but you'll do it!

And lastly, people have self-esteem issues at every size. I know a lot of people who got into their twenties without a relationship! I went on a couple dates at 18 but never even kissed a guy until I was 23! I was heavier than you but still, it wasn't my size keeping me from dating, it was being shy and terrified of commitment or sex. Getting naked in front of a guy was about the most embarrassing thing I could think of! But when I found the right guy, and he liked me just the way I was, it stopped being scary, and next thing I knew I was actually excited about getting married and spending forever with him! And the sex was really fun too!

There is NOTHING wrong with you! I know you can't be weak because you lost 90 pounds! That's an amazing achievement! You went back to your old ways and regained, but you're changing that! You should be proud, you are halfway back to your goal and this time when you get there you'll remember it takes work to stay there!

So give yourself a pat on the back, keep going with your weight loss because it's the HEALTHY thing to do, and remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder! If you want to date go ahead, plenty of girls out there like me who don't care if a guy has a few extra pounds on him! Maybe get some therapy, work on self esteem, and then date! That's what I did, and now that I've been in a stable happy relationship I'm in a much better place to work on my eating habits and lose weight. Plus as an added bonus I know my husband loved me at my heaviest so I don't have to worry that he'll leave me if I get fat again!

Stick around, Ross, and keep up the good work!

~Monique

[rossmann]

Thank you very much.


All of what you said has made me feel better about myself. I guess I am letting society tell me what to think, and in my opinion society is not always correct. I am sure there are girls out there for me. I just need to be patient and wait. I've been on my diet for a week, and I've done pretty good so far. Although I ate Chinese buffet tonight, hehe. I ate better then I usually do though. I had a plate of meat, a plate of veggies, and a plate of fruit. Nothing fried or any dessert, and I drank water. It's a first for me, haha. I still might have eaten a little bit, but it was a lot better then what I could have eaten. It will take a little time, but I'll get to my goal!



~Ross

[SentinelBasch]

Welcome to the site, Ross!

You are quite right - society is not always correct. We're pressured to fit into society's "norms" to be considered normal, but in reality, each of us are unique, and should cherish our individuality. What matters most at the end of the day is not how others perceive us, but how we perceive ourselves.

It also bears to note that self-perception has such a profound effect on how others perceive us. Concerning women, there is no one thing that all women want, but the majority appreciate confidence. When you are truly confident, it does show, and it's "magnetizing".

Getting to that point is difficult, I know - I'm 4 years your senior, and have never dated, either. However, in a certain way, that's to our advantage - it gives us time to work on ourselves, so that when the moment does come, we'll be all the more ready for it. Losing weight can help improve self-esteem, but it does not correct the mind on its own. It can be a long and arduous process to accept ourselves, to love ourselves, but it begins by acknowledging that you are a worthy individual - right now - at 247 pounds. I think you'll find that the more you appreciate yourself, the more you will want to stick with a healthy lifestyle for good - at least, this has been my experience.

Good luck to you - we're here when you need support.

[fattypants]

Originally Posted by rossmann

Hey all,


My name is Ross. When I was a kid growing up, I was in great shape. I only ate what my parents provided. I was able to run the mile back in middle school in just under 6 minutes. As time progressed, and I got older, issues came up. I no longer was bound by what my parents provided to eat, I had money and other resources at my disposal, to eat whatever I wished. And I did just that. I was about 180 pounds when I entered high school, at about 6'2'' tall. When I left and graduated high school, I was a massive 290 pounds. I changed dramatically, for the worse. When I was taken off anti-depressants, I lost around 40 pounds, making me 250 pounds even. I then went on my first ever diet around two years ago. I got down to 200 pounds! I was so happy! Then as time passed again, I did not change my eating habits. I got up to 275 pounds about a month ago. I am now back on my diet, and am 247 pounds. I am currently 6'4'' tall. I feel horrible, I hate myself and wish I was someone else.


I am almost 23 years of age. I have never had a girlfriend, never had a girl pay any attention to me, any filtering, nothing. And I fear my weight might play a role. I am horribly depressed all the time, and hate everything. All I want is to look good, and be healthy. My friends always call me fat ass and stuff. Even if it is in coarse joking, it still makes me sad. I feel like a mushy, weak, disgusting blob of garbage. I am afraid I'll yo-yo diet my whole life. I just don't know what to do. It is just so hard.



~Ross

Hey Ross,
Welcome to the board, it's nice to see another Pacific NWerner here! I agree with monique. I love tall guys, before my husband I never dated anyone under 6ft, and my oldest daughters father was 6'2" and 240. I think it has more to do with confidence, and less to do with appearance in the long run. You wouldn't want some shallow person who is only interested in you for your looks anyways. A REAL person would look past anything you perceive as a "flaw" and would see who you really are on the inside. But if you are not confident, it's hard for others to be confident around you. It takes a lot of courage to walk up to someone and introduce yourself! Like monique says, you lost NINETY POUNDS... That's amazing!!!!! That takes more courage to muster than an introduction. Don't dwell on the fact that you gained some weight back, that's a minor set back. You have nothing to be ashamed or upset about. Take it as a learning experience, and move past it. you know what to do, you've done it before. We are all here to help support you! We also won't judge you for you're size, height, or dating status. I just found this place too, and it's great here! Lots of information, and inspiration, and postings.

[matt007]

Welcome to the site Ross.

On the dating thing. It's a lot easier for a guy to get himself out of the mix than it is for a girl. Girls get asked out a lot, it's just a fact of life. Guys on the other hand. I've been asked out twice in my life and I'm around 5 years older than you. Flirting is a different story, but if you have low confidence you won't recognize it anyway probably.

On the weight loss thing. I can't stress this enough, you're a lot more likely to have long-term success if you do something that you can keep up forever. I don't know what you're doing, but that may be why you gained back the 1st time.

Good luck.

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by rossmann

Hey all,


My name is Ross. When I was a kid growing up, I was in great shape. I only ate what my parents provided. I was able to run the mile back in middle school in just under 6 minutes. As time progressed, and I got older, issues came up. I no longer was bound by what my parents provided to eat, I had money and other resources at my disposal, to eat whatever I wished. And I did just that. I was about 180 pounds when I entered high school, at about 6'2'' tall. When I left and graduated high school, I was a massive 290 pounds. I changed dramatically, for the worse. When I was taken off anti-depressants, I lost around 40 pounds, making me 250 pounds even. I then went on my first ever diet around two years ago. I got down to 200 pounds! I was so happy! Then as time passed again, I did not change my eating habits. I got up to 275 pounds about a month ago. I am now back on my diet, and am 247 pounds. I am currently 6'4'' tall. I feel horrible, I hate myself and wish I was someone else.


I am almost 23 years of age. I have never had a girlfriend, never had a girl pay any attention to me, any filtering, nothing. And I fear my weight might play a role. I am horribly depressed all the time, and hate everything. All I want is to look good, and be healthy. My friends always call me fat ass and stuff. Even if it is in coarse joking, it still makes me sad. I feel like a mushy, weak, disgusting blob of garbage. I am afraid I'll yo-yo diet my whole life. I just don't know what to do. It is just so hard.



~Ross

Hi Ross! Welcome! You came to the right place! One thing we try to preach here, is that diets don't work. They're a short term fix to a longer term issue. We try to help people learn how to make a lifestyle change, one that sticks with you for the long run!

OK, you're 6'4", and dark skin, two things women love! While the weight may be somewhat of an issue, my guess is your confidence might be the bigger issue. As the weight drops off, your confidence will go up for sure!

You've got a great support group here to guide and cheer you along!

Originally Posted by rossmann

Thank you very much.


All of what you said has made me feel better about myself. I guess I am letting society tell me what to think, and in my opinion society is not always correct. I am sure there are girls out there for me. I just need to be patient and wait. I've been on my diet for a week, and I've done pretty good so far. Although I ate Chinese buffet tonight, hehe. I ate better then I usually do though. I had a plate of meat, a plate of veggies, and a plate of fruit. Nothing fried or any dessert, and I drank water. It's a first for me, haha. I still might have eaten a little bit, but it was a lot better then what I could have eaten. It will take a little time, but I'll get to my goal!



~Ross

When you say you've been on a diet for a week, what exactly are you doing differently?

[Melly]

Hey Ross,

I'm glad that you have made the first step tochanging your life.
Dont beat yourself over your weight.
You HOT!! and for sure when you start loosing weight your confidence will go up.

What do you mean you have been on a diet for a week?
What are you doing?

Melly