Obesity Discussion Forums

[kct]

Hey Everyone,

As I mentioned in my self-intro, my name's KC.

I'm an aspiring author, and I'm going to write some articles for yall. I hope you guys learn something valuable, and I hope I might learn something too from your feedback.

My expertise would be around changing habits, behaviours, and dealing with emotions and motivation, but I don't have experience specific to living with obesity besides the ideas in my head...


So, to make sure what I write about is helpful and useful to you, please answer the following question:

If you could only list the 3 most frustrating problems in your life, that you want to correct right now, what would they be?

Please provide details, such as,
-what the problem is and how it affects your life,
-why you think you have it,
-how it makes you feel, etc.

Remember, any details you provide might be helpful to the other members, so don't hold back!

And, if it makes you feel more comfortable, you can send me a PM instead of posting it out in the open.

Regards,

KC

[Steve]

What is your experience working with obese people in the weight loss setting?

Curious is all.

[kct]

Hey Steve. For the answer to that, go read my self-intro here.

Thanks everyone for the messages you've sent me. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these deep, deep problems. I hope that what I have to share will help you overcome the pain that are caused by those issues, and the pain that causes them.

My followup to "Going EXTRA Easy on Yourself (Part 1)" will be coming soon.

Keep sending me your opinions and keep those pms coming!

[Steve]

Interesting.

Like I mentioned to OD, I've studied emotion management,
peak performance and other concepts of human behaviour.

Can you elaborate a bit please?

Also, have you specifically worked with obese people?

[kct]

Hey Steve. Yall gotta stay on topic, man.

Go post your questions about me in my self-intro thread, not here.

Besides, I already addressed my lack of experience in that self-intro. Did you read it like I told you?


This thread is for replies to the question in the opening:

If you could only list the 3 most frustrating problems in your life, that you want to correct right now, what would they be?

Do you have a reply to this question? If so, I'd be glad to hear it.

[kyle_zack]

"yall gotta stay on topic, man"

"did you read it like i told you?"

I think Steve's question is actually really valid and something I would like to hear too. I really hope you weren't intentionally coming off rude and that was just the way posts are...but I think that I would like to know those answers too before I tell you anything else or who you are even....

[kct]

Thanks for your thoughts Kyle.

I wonder if it sounds like I'm avoiding the question lol, when in fact I've answered it already in my other thread. And that was even before he asked.

I'm just trying to keep everything organized. No point in having 2 threads about the same thing, especially when it's making this one get off topic.

[Steve]

Sorry kct, I just feel it's relevant since your experience is zilch yet here you are starting a thread about "what do you want to learn."

In your intro thread you don't give detail about your educational background at all, admit your lack of experience (honesty is nice), yet you go onto say:

Basically, I’m going to help you learn how to rewire old habits,
replace them with new habits, and change your lifestyle for good.

It's just my opinion which you can take for what it's worth, but I think people would feel more comfortable listening to you if you slowed your roll down a bit as The Expert and just paid attention to people and help where you see fit. Talking at people never got me anywhere in my career.

I've been on forums a long, long time and invariably it's those guys who come onto forums and write articles that get listened to the least. Especially when:

a) they're not a respected member yet

and

b) they haven't worked with the particular sets of people the forums are about.

Rather, reading the forum, listening and paying attention to people's posts... THEN applying your supposed knowledge to individual circumstances seems to go over much, much better in my experience.

Again, it's my opinion which you can take for what it's worth.

[kct]

Thanks for your thoughts, Steve.

I have no problems admitting my lack of experience in the area of obesity. As you noticed (or not) I told everyone who read my self-introduction that I don't have any.

I know that No matter what you do, there'll always be a first time for everything...

And this time I'm spending on this forum? This is my first time.

I don't proclaim to be the expert. You can call me a newbie. Just like you, I'm still only in my twenties...

And I hope that if my articles or advice is flawed, that I can be advised so that I can learn too.

(Though I didn't spend 8 years of learning behaviour psychology and paying thousands for nothing...)


And I totally agree with you about having to pay my dues. I'll take the time to read the comments, and try my best to understand what everyone thinks and feels, before my advice will be the best I can give.


But in the meantime, if anyone has any problems they think they need help with when it comes to behaviour and emotions, and changing their habits...

I will ask that they speak up.

Because if someone needs help right now... and it's in my field of knowledge...

It's better that I try to teach them something before they lose hope...

...Or they might give up on themselves forever.

[Steve]

Just to solidify my original point.

If you've got the knowledge and experience to help people in your particular field of expertise, by all means, do so. I'm not against that at all. My point is, talking at people by writing articles on forums and requesting that people contact you for help isn't the way of going about things, at least in my experience.

You seem eager to learn and honest in your intentions, so I hope you don't take these posts the wrong way. I'm only giving my opinion so as to help you better reach your target audience.

I've been in the fat loss industry in some form or fashion for nearly a decade. I've been communicating with people on the Internet regarding fat loss for nearly as long. Suffice it to say that when I started talking on forums, I thought I knew everything. And I thought the best way to get people to listen to me and 'buy my spiel' was to write so-called "articles" and post them on the forum.

It didn't take me long to realize that people, most anyhow, weren't down with that form of communication on a forum. If they wanted to read articles, that's what google is for or websites geared for article writing.

People on forums come to communicate. Communication is hard when you have "authors" throwing general articles at you. People prefer to have their questions and posts read and responded to accordingly.

Advice with psychology as well as advice with fat loss is very individual. What is appropriate and applicable in one set of circumstances may not be in the next. Knowing this, going out and applying your expertise accordingly in a thread by thread basis opposed to expecting people with problems to come to you seems most effective in my experience.

If you want my advice, and if you're seriously interested in writing articles, open yourself a blog. They're free. If people respect the help you give on forums on an individual basis, they'll be sure to read your forum too.

I've been on forums for years. Some very large ones too and I've been able to earn the respect of many members by listening and giving individual attention. Recently I opened my own blog so I could write articles too. Sure enough in just a couple of months I had over 10,000 viewers to the blog.

Again, I only offer my suggestions not to 'hate on you' but to hopefully shed a little light.

Best to you.

[kct]

Thanks again, Steve.

I'll keep that in mind and make sure I don't talk like I know it all.

Setting up a blog is being considered down the road, too...

I just want to make sure I fill in the gap in my knowledge first:
Between what I know about behaviour, and how that ties in with the problems people with obesity face everyday.

And if I do, we can share backlinks, too, if you're up to it.

[chubbymommaNdallas]

Actually, I welcome anyone who think they can help us. Obviously, kct has some knowledge he has gathered he is interested in sharing. If his writings help just one person, he has done good here in my book. He also shared on another post that he had permission from the admin to come here to us. So, kct, welcome.

As an aspiring writer yourself Steve, and as a fellow poster that urges people to read your own writings, I would think you would be supportive of kct. Ah, who knows.

This conversation has sort of reminded of a game I used to play with my brothers when I was little--king of the mountain--only one person was able to stand on the top stair of the swimming pool.

[kyle_zack]

haha i played that game too!

but i thought kct was a girl? just from the way i read posts, must be wrong...clarification kct lol...i get the feeling girl but plz dont get mad if im wrong lol!!!
I appreciate the help too and think going about it in that way is best for everyone!
-kyle

[Steve]

Originally Posted by kct

Thanks again, Steve.

I'll keep that in mind and make sure I don't talk like I know it all.

Setting up a blog is being considered down the road, too...

I just want to make sure I fill in the gap in my knowledge first:
Between what I know about behaviour, and how that ties in with the problems people with obesity face everyday.

I think a blog is right up your alley now, to be honest. If you like writing, it's perfect. You can build some insight with regards to obesity from forums like this along the way.

I'll note though that you don't truly understand someone who is 200+ lbs overweight until you meet them in person and see the struggle first hand.

[Steve]

Originally Posted by chubbymommaNdallas

Actually, I welcome anyone who think they can help us. Obviously, kct has some knowledge he has gathered he is interested in sharing. If his writings help just one person, he has done good here in my book. He also shared on another post that he had permission from the admin to come here to us. So, kct, welcome.

Like I said, I offer merely opinion. I don't expect it to be agreed with by all.

Ultimately this is OD's forum. If he wants me to shut up, that's fine and dandy.

Until then, I'll keep throwing up my advice.

I believe I earned the respect of OD over the years I've been here.

(insert: has it been that long?)

As an aspiring writer yourself Steve, and as a fellow poster that urges people to read your own writings, I would think you would be supportive of kct. Ah, who knows.

Ya know, you seem to have missed everything I said. I didn't come in here and straight up bash the OP. I couched my reasoning with a lot of explanation from my experience. I was at where kct is now nearly a decade ago.

That's my point.

This conversation has sort of reminded of a game I used to play with my brothers when I was little--king of the mountain--only one person was able to stand on the top stair of the swimming pool.

You've misconstrued my intentions, but that's fine. It matters little to my original point.

[Fluffymomma]

I missed the drama! Got here too late!

[monique]

Me too! But I wish he would have answered Steve! There's a vague mention of 8 years of study. Well between high school and college I guess I studied Math for 8 years, but I sure am not going to be writing articles about it anytime soon! I get my medical advice from doctors and my psychological advice from psychologists, I am very much a skeptic when it comes to strangers online.

~Monique