Obesity Discussion Forums

[grneggs]

i keep asking myself what is wrong with me?? I don't know the answer to it... i don't know why i just can't stay focused on staying on a lifetime change, and making myself a better person. i don't know why i insist on lying to myself over and over again, or why i cheat on myself. I don't know why i am so insistant on immediate gratification, and can NOT stay focused on the end result. i know that if i stick with little changes in my eating habbits and exercising, i could lose the 100 lbs, and start feeling really good, both physically and mentally. i know how important this is for my kids and for me. then why can't i change? why is it soooooooooooooo hard for me????? i am so sick of feeling sorry for myself. i'm sick of making excuses for myself... i'm done whining to everyone else, so that i can get some sympathy from them. i'm sick of friends and family members defending for my weight, or feeling like total crap when i go out somewhere. i'm sick of not having any type of self confidence what so ever.... i'm sick of avoiding people, friends, family members, because i can't stand them looking at me... i can't stand thinking that everyone, and anyone is better than me because i'm fat. i'm so sick of thinking that anyone and everyone is judging me even when they're not. i'm sick of pep talking myself everyday, so that i can face each day. i am so sick of everything... sick of it...........................
i'm not feeling sorry for myself.. cause there's so many bigger problems out there... like kids with cancer. like poverty, or anything out there... i have no room to talk... i have no place to feel sorry for myself, when i'm living in the best country in the world, with all the opportunities and facilities available for me to do what i want if i want it. but i choose not to... i choose to stay this way... to hurt myself... that's what i just don't understand.. whY????? i have a horrible relationship with my husband. Not only because of the weight, but the weight has something to do with it. Because of the weight, i can't feel worthy enough for him or anyone else... so i think i deserve only the worst in the world, so i attract that to myself... i can't get out of the marriage,due to our culture. I'm from another culture where i can't get a divorce. I can, but i would lose waaaaaaaaay too much. so.. that's not an option...

i don't know where i'm going with this blog.... i just wanted to say that i started a week ago, set to make a lifetime change in how i eat and my activities.. but today.. another week later.. i'm sitting here, knowing that i'm soooooooo weak... couldn't stay with my plans... making plans for the next week.. but already making plans to cheat myself... i feel soooooo alone and tired...

[Merle]

You're not alone, we're here for you! Losing weight is a difficult road to go down, and getting started is the hardest part. Once you get going though, it becomes easier and easier as time goes on.

I needed all the help I could get when it came to losing weight, so I used some motivational ideas to help me. Maybe they can help you too, I am not sure. I will share some with you.

I put pictures of myself looking my best and looking my worst on the refridgerator. This showed me what I want to look like as motivation to get somewhere, and what I don't want to look like as motivation not to go back there. Recently I even put a scale next to the fridge as further motivation.

I started writing down the food I planned on eating as I found following a plan was easier. I also recorded what I was actually eating so I could see how many calories I was eating compared to my calorie goal for the day. I got a friend to make a lifestyle change with me which helped as well.

Of course posting here and getting support from everyone has made things so much better. This group has been super motivaitonal for me to continue down the healthier path, and I am thankful for it!

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by grneggs

i keep asking myself what is wrong with me?? I don't know the answer to it... i don't know why i just can't stay focused on staying on a lifetime change, and making myself a better person. i don't know why i insist on lying to myself over and over again, or why i cheat on myself. I don't know why i am so insistant on immediate gratification, and can NOT stay focused on the end result. i know that if i stick with little changes in my eating habbits and exercising, i could lose the 100 lbs, and start feeling really good, both physically and mentally. i know how important this is for my kids and for me. then why can't i change? why is it soooooooooooooo hard for me????? i am so sick of feeling sorry for myself. i'm sick of making excuses for myself... i'm done whining to everyone else, so that i can get some sympathy from them. i'm sick of friends and family members defending for my weight, or feeling like total crap when i go out somewhere. i'm sick of not having any type of self confidence what so ever.... i'm sick of avoiding people, friends, family members, because i can't stand them looking at me... i can't stand thinking that everyone, and anyone is better than me because i'm fat. i'm so sick of thinking that anyone and everyone is judging me even when they're not. i'm sick of pep talking myself everyday, so that i can face each day. i am so sick of everything... sick of it...........................
i'm not feeling sorry for myself.. cause there's so many bigger problems out there... like kids with cancer. like poverty, or anything out there... i have no room to talk... i have no place to feel sorry for myself, when i'm living in the best country in the world, with all the opportunities and facilities available for me to do what i want if i want it. but i choose not to... i choose to stay this way... to hurt myself... that's what i just don't understand.. whY????? i have a horrible relationship with my husband. Not only because of the weight, but the weight has something to do with it. Because of the weight, i can't feel worthy enough for him or anyone else... so i think i deserve only the worst in the world, so i attract that to myself... i can't get out of the marriage,due to our culture. I'm from another culture where i can't get a divorce. I can, but i would lose waaaaaaaaay too much. so.. that's not an option...

i don't know where i'm going with this blog.... i just wanted to say that i started a week ago, set to make a lifetime change in how i eat and my activities.. but today.. another week later.. i'm sitting here, knowing that i'm soooooooo weak... couldn't stay with my plans... making plans for the next week.. but already making plans to cheat myself... i feel soooooo alone and tired...

Coming here is a positive first step in achieving your goals. It shows that you really do want to make a change. Understanding where you go wrong and not being in denial is another BIG step. Setting out to start this new lifestyle, though not being able to follow through 100% the first time, is another big step. You're a lot further along than you think.

Your weight doesn't make you any less of a person or deserving of less in life than others.

Feel free to talk things through with us as you continue to push to reach your goals. Sometimes babysteps are the best way to go.

There are quite a few places in the weight loss tips forum where there is some good discussion on little things to help you lose weight.

Weight Loss Tips- Beat obesity, one step at a time

and

http://www.obesitydiscussion.com/for...-add-3689.html


Another thing we recommend to people is that they eat their food VERY SLOW. One of the biggest problems people have is they eat so fast their brain can't calculate that they are full until they've already overeaten. This one piece of advice has seemed to help quite a few people.

[justme]

Originally Posted by grneggs

i keep asking myself what is wrong with me?? I don't know the answer to it... i don't know why i just can't stay focused on staying on a lifetime change, and making myself a better person. i don't know why i insist on lying to myself over and over again, or why i cheat on myself. I don't know why i am so insistant on immediate gratification, and can NOT stay focused on the end result. i know that if i stick with little changes in my eating habbits and exercising, i could lose the 100 lbs, and start feeling really good, both physically and mentally. i know how important this is for my kids and for me. then why can't i change? why is it soooooooooooooo hard for me????? i am so sick of feeling sorry for myself. i'm sick of making excuses for myself... i'm done whining to everyone else, so that i can get some sympathy from them. i'm sick of friends and family members defending for my weight, or feeling like total crap when i go out somewhere. i'm sick of not having any type of self confidence what so ever.... i'm sick of avoiding people, friends, family members, because i can't stand them looking at me... i can't stand thinking that everyone, and anyone is better than me because i'm fat. i'm so sick of thinking that anyone and everyone is judging me even when they're not. i'm sick of pep talking myself everyday, so that i can face each day. i am so sick of everything... sick of it...........................
i'm not feeling sorry for myself.. cause there's so many bigger problems out there... like kids with cancer. like poverty, or anything out there... i have no room to talk... i have no place to feel sorry for myself, when i'm living in the best country in the world, with all the opportunities and facilities available for me to do what i want if i want it. but i choose not to... i choose to stay this way... to hurt myself... that's what i just don't understand.. whY????? i have a horrible relationship with my husband. Not only because of the weight, but the weight has something to do with it. Because of the weight, i can't feel worthy enough for him or anyone else... so i think i deserve only the worst in the world, so i attract that to myself... i can't get out of the marriage,due to our culture. I'm from another culture where i can't get a divorce. I can, but i would lose waaaaaaaaay too much. so.. that's not an option...

i don't know where i'm going with this blog.... i just wanted to say that i started a week ago, set to make a lifetime change in how i eat and my activities.. but today.. another week later.. i'm sitting here, knowing that i'm soooooooo weak... couldn't stay with my plans... making plans for the next week.. but already making plans to cheat myself... i feel soooooo alone and tired...

Let me say this first: Nothing is wrong with you.

And now

Mind you this is only me and what (so far) has made a difference to me in the terms of weight loss.

I was reading a book by Rick Jarow about career change which has little to do with weight loss, but in a section of the book it was talking about where you are at the present moment and excepting where you where and who you where at that moment. For some reason focusing on now instead of days, weeks, months, years from now made a big difference to me. All I need to do is get though now and it all became doing things just one step at a time.

And you are not alone, I have been making excuses for myself for years and I have been trying to loose weight for years and for some reason that focusing on now just made it easier.

Of course old habits die hard and I still find myself focused on the future or the past or my failures or my hoped for success and that is when I become frustrated and start NOT doing what I know I should. But when I get there I just go back to thinking about the moment I am in and what I need to do now and I regain my focus and except the fact that I am only human and make mistakes from time to time, forgive myself for it and stay on.

[MikeB]

Some easy things to do:
1. Shop for your own food, don't buy cookies, treats, chips, white flour items, white salad dressings and NO MORE SODA. Make sure to read labels and look for hidden sugar.
2. Only eat at home or bring your own food.
3. Watch the weight start to fall off.

[William Wallace]

Originally Posted by YTWCKF

Let me say this first: Nothing is wrong with you.

And now

Mind you this is only me and what (so far) has made a difference to me in the terms of weight loss.

I was reading a book by Rick Jarow about career change which has little to do with weight loss, but in a section of the book it was talking about where you are at the present moment and excepting where you where and who you where at that moment. For some reason focusing on now instead of days, weeks, months, years from now made a big difference to me. All I need to do is get though now and it all became doing things just one step at a time.

And you are not alone, I have been making excuses for myself for years and I have been trying to loose weight for years and for some reason that focusing on now just made it easier.

Of course old habits die hard and I still find myself focused on the future or the past or my failures or my hoped for success and that is when I become frustrated and start NOT doing what I know I should. But when I get there I just go back to thinking about the moment I am in and what I need to do now and I regain my focus and except the fact that I am only human and make mistakes from time to time, forgive myself for it and stay on.

Very well said. You are definitely not alone and there is nothing wrong with you at all. Believe it or not a lot of these issues you cite will go away along with the weight.

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by MikeB

Some easy things to do:
1. Shop for your own food, don't buy cookies, treats, chips, white flour items, white salad dressings and NO MORE SODA. Make sure to read labels and look for hidden sugar.
2. Only eat at home or bring your own food.
3. Watch the weight start to fall off.

I agree with all this. You can't eat what you don't buy. Stay away from restaurants. I would also add drink a LOT of water.

[Guinevere]

Huggs

Sometimes I feel the same way, but the important thing is that with a new day we have an opportunity to pick ourselves up off the floor, dust ourselves off and start again. We have hope that we will make progress and maybe take some small steps to get us closer to our goals.

[sass63]

Everyone is right There isnt anything wrong with you.
I have been where your at and I know its not a nice place to be. You made a huge step my sharing your feelings with us,and we will be here for you. Just try not to beat yourself up on the bad days. Come in here and read or post we all struggle or we wouldnt be here. Its important to know your not alone and your not the only one that has felt or does feel the way you do.
Just take things one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time.

[adam&emilysmom]

Hi, I'm a newbie, but not to weight issues. I've had problems with my weight since I was 18, and I am now 37. There have been so many times that I have felt exactly like you. For a long time I would feel sorry for myself and think that I was depressed because I was overweight. I finally realized that it is not my weight that it is making me depressed, but the depression and boredom was making me turn to food. Once I get myself motivated to diet I can lose weight. Right now my weight is up because I've been stressed, etc., but I'm taking control again and trying to lose. It is so hard to stay motivated sometimes while dieting if you are not losing weight. I usually start out on a low carb diet so that I can lose weight fast. Once I see that I am dropping a few pounds it helps to get me motivated. Also, if you slip up, it is not the end of world. It doesn't mean that you've blown your diet and you have to wait until next Monday to start it again. I can't tell you how many times I have done that in the past and Monday never came. Once you get yourself motivated and in "diet mode" or "get healthy mode" it will be a lot easier. I started exercising on my gazelle a couple months ago and I can't tell you how much better I feel both physically and mentally. I do it while I watch General Hospital every day and it makes the time go by so fast. If you can find a diet that is right for you and exercise that you actually enjoy, it will make it easier. ONce you start seeing results, it will help keep you motivated. Good luck.

[shesmilesnwinks]

grneggs,
As I read your post I understood every feeling, even seeing myself. I have over 100lbs to loose. I have beaten myself up mentally, don't feel worthy of my husband. I tend to be insecure all linked to being overweight. But I know changes begin with me. So lets both grab positive thoughts and apply positive energy to a better way of eating for good health.