Obesity Discussion Forums

[adjuvant]

Hi, I'm new; I would like to go by my username: adjuvant. I am eighteen years of age, and I live in Georgia. I have been overweight for more than half of my life. It all started when we got the internet at age eight. I abandoned by outdoor activities and friendships in order to stay inside, making new acquaintances across the world in Yahoo! chat rooms. I became addicted to the internet, basically. I talked to people much older than myself and learned things that I shouldn't have known at such a young age. I became heavily depressed by the time middle school rolled around. I identified myself as being a lesbian by the age of eleven and began self-mutilating at age twelve; at this time, I also went into counseling and was heavily medicated on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, a general anxiety disorder, and bipolar disorder. I am currently not taking any medication--of my own choice--but food is my vice. I am an emotional eater.

Today I went to the doctor to get a few vaccinations so that I could have my immunization record complete for college. I weighed in at 244 lbs and at height of about 5'2. In January of this year, I weighed myself at friend's house and the scale said 246. That is my peak. I was around 245 lbs in 9th grade, but in 10th grade I began losing weight (without any stable schedule), and as of around December of last year, I was 198 lbs. Somehow I have managed to balloon up again.

My prior weight loss was a mixture of sporadic motivation to exercise (a few times one week and then no exercise the following week), binging and purging, and spending nearly every single day of my summer between 10th grade and 11th grade outside of the house with friends--without any money and thus unable to eat very much.

Obviously, it wasn't a very healthy process.

I will be attending college in the fall but commuting there from home. My parents (my aunt and uncle) have decided that the whole family (each of them plus my cousin and myself) should join the local YMCA, I will have access to a gym at my college, I am able to walk laps around my subdivision, laps around my downstairs, jog upstairs and downstairs, do jumping jacks, do crunches, and I have small 5 lb weights to lift. We also have bicycles, but I haven't ridden one in years, and I am self-conscious about riding around the subdivision in a helmet. I am so insecure about my weight that it is difficult for me to summon the motivation to walk outside at all, and I know that working out at the Y will be TORTURE for me because so many people from my high school go there (teachers included), and most of the people who attend are already in shape, although I'm not.

I am desperate. I need a place to go to for support. I need to gain motivation and learn how to tackle my greatest enemy: my weight. Please, anyone, I am reaching out to you. I need your help.

[adjuvant]

I couldn't post when I first discovered this site because my account had yet to be activated. Here's my progress from the past two days.

Laps around my subdivision:

8:21-8:43
2 laps

1 lap = 0.50 mi
2 laps = 1.00 mi
Overall: approximately 1.00 mi in 22 minutes

Laps around my downstairs:

8:45-8:55
2 warm up laps
10 laps jogging
5 laps walking
10 laps jogging
5 laps walking
2 cool down laps

25 laps = 0.25 mi
50 laps = 0.50 mi
100 laps = 1.00 mi
Overall: approximately .34 mi in 10 minutes

8:59-9:06
Same exact amount as before;
Overall: approximately .34 mi in 7 minutes

Grand total: 1.68 mi in 39 minutes

18 years of age
5'2
244 lbs

On StepMania (which is a free online download of a Dance Dance Revolution type program, where I've turned off failing)
- Arcadia on Standard
- Cooking by the Book on Standard

I was unable to keep up entirely, although I used to be able to play such songs on standard flawlessly and with relative ease, so that was a bit discouraging.

[adjuvant]

I started off my morning by having a bowl of Maple Pecan Crunch cereal from Post Selects with 2% milk (probably around 350 calories), a large glass of water, and dancing to Electric Feel by MGMT.

On StepMania:
Chicken Dance - Standard

Sitting:
15 lifts from my shoulders and up
15 pushes forward from my shoulders
15 pushes from my chest and outward
15 arcs from my shoulder over my head on each arm

Standing:
15 bicep curls on each arm
15 lifts from hanging down upwards

All of this x2

Sitting:
12 alternating punches forward (6 punches from each arm) x3
12 alternating punches to the right (6 punches from each arm) x3
12 alternating punches to the left (6 punches from each arm) x3

Standing:
30 alternating lifts upward (6 lifts from each arm) x3

I then did some personal relaxation and stretching exercises.

I had 6 of the fruity rainbow Twizzlers (260 calories).
One 100 calorie Chips Ahoy! thin crisps pack.
One dark turtle chocolate (63 calories).
A handful of goldfish crackers (80 calories).

Overall: 350 calories + 503 calories = 853 calories

I tried experimenting.
I jogged 1 lap, walked 1 lap (repeat) - for 10 laps;
then I jogged 2 laps, walked 2 laps (repeat) - for 10 laps;
I then jogged 1 lap, walked 1 lap (repeat) - for 10 laps;
then I jogged 10 laps, walked 5 laps, cooled down for 2 laps.

Overall, 47 laps (that's .47 of a mile). 25 were laps were jogging and 22 laps were walking. I didn't pay attention to the time.

Jogged upstairs x5 (walked downstairs x5 as well).

--------------------------------------------------------

Then I went over to my friend's house and ate half of my portion of a $75 purchase of Chinese food and have been lazing around for all of today and finished up my leftovers.

[adjuvant]

have been lazy; I've been eating like crazy. I spent about three days at my friend's house and pigged out. Last night, my cousin and I each had our own graduation cakes.

My girlfriend's been texting me today about wanting to get healthy. She did a 5 mile hike and signed up for a 40 mile bike ride.

I know that each lap around my neighborhood is .5 miles. After I finish watching House, I plan to go outside and take a walk. I'll attempt at least 4 laps but I'd prefer for it to be closer to 10. I'm fat and slow, though... so we'll see. I'll probably just edit this same entry.

I'm kind of down that not a single person has posted on this thread. On the old forum I was a member of, there was always lots of support... No feedback leaves me feeling alone.

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Edit @ 5:29 PM:

Well, I just walked for almost an hour. I walked a little over 2 miles (4 laps around my subdivision along with a digression down another road to walk one lap around the tiny park in my subdivision and then back). I think it says a lot about how out of shape I am if it took me that long to walk only 2 miles. That means that it took me about 15 minutes to do each lap (.5 of a mile).

Edit @ 9:02 PM:

Sitting:
15 lifts from my shoulders and up
15 pushes forward from my shoulders
15 pushes from my chest and outward

Standing:
15 bicep curls on each arm

All of this x3

Sitting:
10 lifts from my shoulders and up
10 pushes forward from my shoulders
10 pushes from my chest and outward

Standing:
10 bicep curls on each arm

All of this x2

[johnita36]

Hi and welcome to the forums. Looks like you're doing very good with exercising. Keep up the good work? Are you counting calories or just starting out with exercise for now? Keep it up and you'll get to your goal before you know it.



Johnita

[adjuvant]

I'm trying to start out with exercising, but my excessive eating and laziness get in the way. I can't control my urges to eat, eat, eat.

When I went for that walk, the soles of my feet were hurt pretty badly because of my shoes.

[johnita36]

Have you tried when you get the urges to eat to go for a walk, or even if you have to eat have you tried making sure it's healthy, for example what I've tried to do is when I want to snack instead of doing like I would before and grabbing a cookie, or ice cream or something like that I grab carrots or some other type of veggie or fruit and it really lets you eat when you have those urges without getting all the empty calories. But for me I have decided I will not deprive myself because i know in the end it will be bad so if I want something sweet I have it but ONLY in very small amounts and that seems to work for me so I don't feel like I'm doing without but I'm not eating tons of the bad stuff.



Johnita

[monique]

Originally Posted by adjuvant

I am desperate. I need a place to go to for support. I need to gain motivation and learn how to tackle my greatest enemy: my weight. Please, anyone, I am reaching out to you. I need your help.

Welcome, Adjuvant!

I have to say, I don't think your weight is your biggest enemy AT ALL!!! I get the impression *you* are your biggest enemy! Why are you being so hard on yourself? 2 miles in one hour is a perfectly respectable pace, and it sounds like you have a lot of willpower when it comes to strength training. From how down on yourself you are, how you keep insulting yourself, and your references to self-mutilation and purging, I feel like being overweight is probably the least of your problems. I don't know if your diagnoses were accurate but you clearly have some severely low self-esteem going on that you should probably work on before you can devote yourself entirely to anything else. I also think your workouts sound pretty obsessive and from the day's food you listed it sounds like you're having lots of sugar and empty carbs without a single serving of protein. I think you might want to re-evaluate your goals. Hopefully one goal is to work on your food issues, and replace bingeing and purging with a healthy diet. Another could be spending more time outdoors or more time exercising. For most people I've talked to it seems like it really helps to have a PLAN, and know what you want to accomplish, and to set realistic, achievable goals that will boost your confidence. You don't have to lose everything right away! Just focus on living healthier and maybe losing a pound a week. If you look up weight loss studies and long term results you'll see that in general, the slower people lose the less likely they are to regain. You want to avoid yo-yo-ing in favor of learning to enjoy a healthy lifestyle!

I don't know you (yet? :-) ) so I don't know if my comments and concern are going to end up alienating you but I really was worried when I read your posts that you are not being healthy emotionally, and that in my opinion is a bigger deal that your physical health. I have depression myself and was having some major self esteem problems in college, and one of the BEST EVER pieces of advice I got from the counselor I saw back then was; think about how you would feel about the situation if it wasn't about you! Imagine a friend is telling you about her struggle with her weight. Wouldn't you think she was being crazy hard on herself? Imagine your girlfriend was the one with the weight issue. Wouldn't you still love her and want her to be happy? Millions and millions of people are overweight, for all different reasons, and we are not worth any less than thin people. We're just a little bigger, that's all!

Good luck and welcome again!

~Monique

[MichaelB]

Welcome aboard!

My name is Mike and I am a DDR addict.

Keep on doing the Stepmania. I started dieting and exercise back in February and the thing I really got hooked on was DDR. It's great fun, a definite challenge, and a great way to get my heart rate up for 30 minutes or 3 hours. I definitely attribute much of my weight loss (86 pounds in just under 4 months) to the new activity doing DDR.

I think the key to your success will be to get your diet under control. If you're consistently overeating, you'll find it very very difficult (impossible?) to lose weight... The key will be to cut down on your caloric intake ALONG WITH the increased activity.

To get an idea of what I mean, one 2 minute song on Basic / Light (i.e. one step up from Beginner) burns between 10 and 18 calories. Averaging 14 calories a song, and say 25 songs in an hour, it takes a full hour of DDR to burn off roughly 350 calories.

In any case, focus on the food. Cutting down on your intake and eating the RIGHT food (as noted above, lots of sugar and no protein really isn't healthy) is the key. And don't kill yourself with the exercise. You just want to try to get your heartrate up for 30 minutes to an hour to get your metabolism going.

PS - I'll add that I liked the DDR because I could do it in the privacy of my own home, without needing to head in to a gym or run around the neighborhood. Hopefully, StepMania will work well for you too.

[MichaelB]

Hate to keep posting, but here's one more followup because your diet is really not sitting well with me.

I'm doing something along the lines of a South Beach diet. I avoid carbs for the most part; my diet is mostly protein, fat, with a liberal dose of fibrous veggies. I like the high-protein/fat diet because I don't get hungry quickly after each meal, which helps me avoid snacking for the most part.

Here's what I eat in a single day:

For breakfast (when I'm being good and wake up early enough) -- scrambled eggs with ham, sometimes sauteed mushrooms, and occasionally chopped onion.
- or -
For breakfast (when I'm running late) -- Sausage McMuffin w/ Egg at McDonalds

For lunch -- caesar salad with shredded parmesan and croutons. (Often I'll shred up some grilled chicken and mix it in, other times, if I have leftover salmon or steak, I'll bring it, heat it, and eat it with the salad.)
- or -
For lunch (once a week, I go out) -- typically I'll go to a mexican restaurant and get two tacos, typically Al Pastor for one and Carne Asada for the other

For dinner -- grilled salmon (herbs, garlic butter, and dill) *OR* steak marinated in Italian dressing (with sauteed mushrooms and onions), caesar salad with cheese and croutons (no chicken, as I'm eating the salmon), and asparagus.

For daytime snacks -- little 25-calorie carrot packs, typically 2 per day, and individually wrapped Frigo string cheeses, typically 2 per day. Occasionally, I'll bring almonds and have 8-12 almonds instead of a string cheese or carrot pack.

For dessert in the evening -- Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (sometimes I'll skip it because I don't feel snacky)

I don't deviate much, but will swap in different veggies, slightly different salads, etc. But I generally have the same thing day in and day out and it works for me, because I've gotten in a rhythm and can prep ingredients and put together these meals quickly and easily.

I hope you're able to find a healthy menu that you can make and stick with. Getting away from eating out regularly, and eating mostly stuff that you've prepared yourself is really critical. If you're eating out regularly, it's harder to control portions and ingredients and caloric intake.

Just my $0.02. Hope it helps and feel free to ask me questions if you like.

[adjuvant]

The problem with my diet is that I don't buy my own food.
I live with my parents and they buy everything.
I don't have a job, so I can't do my own shopping, and they refuse to budge on the things that they buy.

[MichaelB]

I gotcha. That's a big advantage I have, in that I live alone and purposely avoid keeping anything snacky here in the house.

Have you tried asking them to purchase specific items? They may be willing to help out if you explain what you're looking for and why.

If not, I guess it's a matter of negotiating the minefield they call a refrigerator -- finding the healthy things in there that you can eat. There has to be something healthy in there that you can build a menu out of..?

[adjuvant]

Nope.

On that note, I give up.

[MichaelB]

C'mon, adjuvant. You've only just begun.

Weight loss admittedly isn't easy. It's something that takes time and effort, but it's entirely worth it.

Shedding a few of those extra pounds will not only make you feel better, it'll improve your health and give you more good years to live on this earth.

[monique]

Adjuvant,

I don't think you should give up. Unless your parents are seriously unhealthy, there must be veggies in the house. No parent is really going to refuse to buy a bag of baby carrots instead of a bag of chips, are they? And there must be something in the cupboard besides crackers, cookies, and candy! If not you seriously need to have a talk with them about how they're sabotaging your attempts to eat healthy. If you have any allowance or ever eat at a restaurant, even fast food, you can modify your choices there or buy yourself healthier options.

I gained a lot in college because of limited food options too. I was living at home and hardly making any money (just babysitting for neighbors on the weekends) and some days I had classes from 8am to 10pm, so all my meals were at the dining hall where a grilled cheese and fries was usually my lunch, and a couple brownies was my dinner. As I realized how unhealthy that was I switched to slightly healthier options, but the damage was done. Looking back now I see I *could* have packed meals from home, or ordered a salad and fruit, and I was just using the availability of cheap junk food as an excuse. And honestly I wish I had started working on weight loss back then before I got used to so many calories!

You are right to try and nip this in the bud. Don't give up at the first obstacle!

~Monique

[MichaelB]

Well put, monique... You said it better than I.

[SunShine]

Adjuvant, never give up. I know dieting is hard but if you set your mind to it you can lose it and we are all here to help you out as much as we can.
If the college you are going to has a pool, swimming is a great exercise to help you lose weight. I bet you would like swimming and maybe that would help you stick to your diet plan.
Find a exercise you like and cut back some calories from your food intake and you will lose weight.

[Obesity Discussion]

Originally Posted by adjuvant

The problem with my diet is that I don't buy my own food.
I live with my parents and they buy everything.
I don't have a job, so I can't do my own shopping, and they refuse to budge on the things that they buy.

adjuvant, what's more important than what you're eating is how much of it you're eating.

Believe it or not you can work around what your parents buy by counting your calories and/or reducing your portion sizes. It's a lot easier than people think. This is just a minor obstacle in the way of you reaching a goal which to me isn't just about losing weight, it's about being happy. Nothing should get in the way of that, every.

We'd be more than happy to help you come up with a battle plan to work around the food your parents buy; let's work together to help you achieve your dreams!

In the words of a famous former college basketball coach and sports analyst.....

Don't give up, don't ever give up. Unfortunately, he had terminal cancer, and had no control over his ability to change his health....you however, do.