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Originally Posted by StaceyA  Well, I wanted to join here so I could have others to talk to. So I guess I should start by getting ALOT off my chest. That should help for starters. And maybe help me find others with the same problem. So I guess I am going to try and sum up most of my problems in one big jump.
I am 24 years old. I have a 5 years old daughter. She is my everything. I would be in jail or deaded by now if I didn't have here.
My whole life I have been over weight. Why over weight. I can remember being in 1st grade and other kids calling me tug boat. I grew up with over weight parents. I never got along with others in school. And the few "friends" I have ever had have some way or another slipted out of my life. And most of them in a bad manner. Leaving a sour taste in my mouth. To the point I have no friends now. I never went to games, prom, home coming. I didn't even want to go to my graduation. I lived with a step mother that hated me. A sister that was 6 years younger then me. And so jelous that she made my life horrible. My mother choose a man over me when I was about 10.
I had a never rocky life with my daughters father. He was the first man that ever truely cared about me. But he cared about drinking more then anything. So I finally seperated from him for the 3rd and finally time a year ago. It was very hard. And I gained probably 80 pounds over the 2 years it took for us to fully split.
So now I am 302 pounds. I always told myself I would shoot myself if I EVER weighted over 300 pounds. So I just wanted to die when I saw that. Which I would NEVER take my life now. My daughter needs me so very much. I could never do that to her. But it leaves me hating myself more then ever. I don't want the food to control me. But it does. I sit and think in my head. I hate you. You are worthless. why can't you stop eating as I am shoving food in my mouth. I hate it. And some how I have to stop it.
I want so bad to be able to have more energy, more happiness, more williness for my daughter. She always wants to do things. But I never want to. And sometimes I will like I am depriving her. And I don't want her to pick up my habits. I don't want her to end up like me.
Now that I am in tears I think I will stop there. I am sure I will write more about myself soon. |
Well, being that your daughter is the most important thing in your life, could you use her as motivation to turn things around? So you can play with her more, show her good examples, and live a long healthy life to see her grow up!
I would first take a look at this topic for some good tips to get you started:
http://www.obesitydiscussion.com/for...ht-loss-forum/
We can help you lose weight by showing you how to count your calories and figure out how much you need to eat to achieve your weight loss goals.... if you're willing.