[ccwilloe]

for me, have noticed that my body weight seems to track my overall level of happiness. when I get stressed out, i turn to food for comfort. food is comforting and it doesn't talk back at you. food is there to soothe my nerves. food is a short term fix much like alcohol is to an alcoholic. food is a band-aid to patch a broken heart. food is love. it is if my brain has been programmed to seek out an endorphine release by ingesting food to feel good. of course, this just backfires when i pile on the weight and then just feel worse.

some folks say you have to love yourself first but i'm not sure what that means. it seems that just when I begin to feel good about things, something comes along and knocks me right back into the self-destructive cycle of food addiction. i've tried various SSRI medications to no avail. i've tried atkins, fasting, and other diets and although i might take off a few pounds initially, i end up going right on back to my old ways. it's almost as if i have a starving heart and am filling it up with an artificial fillings and stuffings.

so is it psychological, biochemical, or both?

is there a way out?

how?

i wanna try this again and maybe a support group can help. i dunno.... and so here i am. i'm almost 50 and my weight is really starting to take its toll on my feet, hip, and knee joints - and if i don't do something about it soon, i'm gonna end up in a wheelchair headed for an early checkout.