Well, in this case it's a matter of willpower for some of your issues.....is there any way you could get your wife to go on this quest with you as a team? It's a lot easier when you have someone doing it with you.
I'm not sure if you've looked around, but we have a great topic with good tips.
http://www.obesitydiscussion.com/for...-add-3689.html
What we offer here is to help people figure out how many calories a day they need to eat on average in order to achieve their weight loss goals. We can guide you and cheer you on along the way, but it's ultimately up to you to make it happen.
As far as exercise, could you and the wife take walks together? Even that is a good start that will burn a few (not a lot) calories.