Hi Daisy,
Welcome to the discussion forums.
I'm sure you'll find plenty of inspiration here to help you on your journey.
I, too, have struggled with my weight all my life, so I know where you're coming from. I only wish I'd done something about it when I was your age. I probably wouldn't be where I am now had I done so. You've taken a big step and joined a gym, which is fantastic.
Going once or twice a week is better than not going at all, and the more often you go the easier it will get. You might even make some new friends. My experience of going to the gym is that everyone was very friendly and encouraging. I loved watching my shape change. I knew I was losing weight but, being so big, it wasn't immediately apparent where it was coming off from. I was desperate to lose it around my middle, as I'm a big old apple shape, so I did loads of crunches as well as doing the bike and weights. I can't do the treadmill because of my feet (another story), but the bike was great.
I noticed that the weight was coming off my legs. I have straight-up-and-down tree trunks for legs, but I noticed that the fat pads below my knees were getting smaller and my trousers were looser and less like leggings on me! That was a great feeling.
In the summer I invested in some new tops and found that I had to order smaller sizes. Instead of a UK size 30 I am now wearing between a UK size 24-28, depending on the make and style of the top. My best friend said to me, "woman, you have a waist for the first time in all the time I've known you!", which is over 16 years. I've never had a waist in my life; I've always looked like a barrel on legs. But those 100 crunches every morning are paying off and, while my weight loss is slow, I am changing my shape. I particularly like the wrapover and Empire line styles that are in fashion at the moment. They emphasise my curves in the right places, which really boosts my confidence. You really can't knock the feeling.
I hear what you say about living on your own. But, while you've nobody to monitor what you put in your mouth, by the same token you don't have anyone tempting you to eat things you shouldn't be. You are in complete charge of what you eat and drink, so all blame and all achievements lie squarely at your feet. Nobody can take credit for your hard work, so when you start changing shape and buying smaller clothes you'll have nobody to thank but yourself. It's a great feeling when you realise that your old clothes are just too darned big for you!
I'm a major carb fan, so I feel your pain, sister. I have found that eating more lean protein fills me up and makes life easier. I like to bake a chicken breast in the oven wrapped in tin foil (aluminum foil) with garlic and herbs, and serve it with lots of steamed vegetables (onions, peppers, mushrooms, broccoli, etc.). Fresh tuna or salmon are other favourites of mine, or I like lean pork loin chops (all fat removed) spread with English mustard and garlic and grilled slowly until tender, then served with steamed or stir-fried vegetables. Yummy!
Another good tip is to eat home-made soup as a snack when you're peckish or before your main meals. Scientific research has found that this fills you up for longer than drinking plain water. The soup has to be home-made, though, not out of a can. Boil up your favourite vegetables (I like onions, leeks and carrots) with water, a couple of stock cubes (only 35 calories each), salt & pepper and fresh or dried herbs of your choice.
Simmer for 20 minutes and you've got yourself a pot of soup. You can leave it chunky or whiz it with a blender. It doesn't get much easier than that. Because it's only vegetables and water you can eat as much as you like of it. It's particularly good in the colder weather. If you want to make a meal of it, try making a lentil or pea soup. These are very filling and tasty too. Don't eat so much of these, though, or your digestion will pay for it.
Of course, sometimes protein alone is not enough. The eating plan I follow caters for those carb cravings by allowing you to eat unlimited quantities of potatoes, pasta and rice on carb days, or unlimited quantities of lean meat and fish on protein days. The usual baddies are discouraged (fat and sugar) and breads and cereals are allowed, but in small quantities. Fruit and most vegetables (potatoes, parsnips and sweetcorn only allowed on carb days) are free, so you can eat as much as you like of these. You can read more about it here
Slimming World - discover the amazing you. It's not for everyone, but I love it. I call it the Greedy B*stards Diet.
So far I've managed to lose 41lbs, so I'm one pound away from my 3 stones award.
It's taken a long time to get here, as my will power is sadly lacking and I haven't managed to visit the gym for some time now due to work and other commitments. I miss the gym and the friends I made there, so if you truly enjoy it, don't give up. My weight loss progressed much quicker when I was exercising 3 or 4 times a week. Doing it by diet alone is much, much harder. But I'm getting there, slowly but surely. Actually, the slower the better, as far as I’m concerned. This gives your skin a chance to shrink with you. My biggest fear is that I end up in a baggy, saggy skin suit!
I'm sure others will have plenty of tips, recipes and advice for you. Whatever works for you, go for it and don't let anyone discourage you. And remember, just because you have a bad day doesn't mean it's the end of the world. If you fall off the wagon, try and climb back on at the the meal, or the next day if you can't do it right away. If you read my blog you'll see that I've had more than my fair share of bad days lately, but I try to gather my resolve the next day and stick to eating healthily. That's what's important at the end of the day. If you focus on changing your eating habits rather than your weight, you'll find that the weight loss happens when you're not looking to begin with. It won't always be that way, but the first big loss can be enough to kick-start you and give you the motivation you need to stick with it. And don't forget that everyone here is rooting for you too, so you can always talk to someone if you need to.
Best of luck with your endeavours. I'll looking forward to hearing more from you.
Cheers,
Chaz