| Brookhaven
Well,I didn't make my goal. I am stuck. I am depreseed and that makes me not get motivated. I watched a rerun of a Brookhaven, those people disgust me, the cheating ones I mean. They are so blessed to get to be there, so many waiting to get in, they abuse what they have. I would give ANYTHING to be somewhere that all I had to do was exercise, socialize and have someone else prepare my meals. No Chance of cheating then is there??? I am careful not to eat anything too bad but damn, no matter how I try my crappy marriage is overwhelming to me and I catch myself in the middle of a mouthful like I was in a trance till that point. I hear myself convincing myself that I don't care anymore but I do. Point was, watching that show makes me realize what I could be/ look like if I lost control. I got up to over 300lbs, medical reasons where a contributing factor but not as big as stuffing food in my miserable face. Having a craving for a food I DON'T need, so now I suddenly understand (note I do NOT sympathize, I do howerver empathize with them) the addiction. I don't want to give into it but it is still there 3 days later and I have no idea why I am craving it either. Anyone else have a cure? I tried dill pickles, I tried eating GOOD foods till I couldn't move (turkey breast, fire roasted red peppers, cucumber and tomato) but still wanted that. I was so full I had no room for it, but you bet I still wanted it!!!! Thanks for listening to my rant.
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