You seem to have an answer for everything, don't you? It must be nice to have all the answers.
Being around PMS isn't the same as experiencing it, so you'll just have to trust me on that one. Also, it may have escaped your notice, but I'm in Scotland, which is in the UK, which is in Europe, i.e. nowhere near the USA. So, please tell me, how I'm supposed to get my mits on your South Beach bars or Muscle Milk? I can't just walk into the nearest bodega and buy them, 'cos we don't have 'em over here!
And who told you carbs aren't filling? Have you ever eaten a baked potato in your life?! They will definitely fill you up and, if you fill it with baked beans, you'll get all the protein you need. How do you think vegetarians manage? As for the sugar in fruit, this is natural and unrefined, which the body treats differently from refined sugar. Being such an expert on the subject I'd expect you to know this. And in the UK our Government recommends we eat a minimum of 5 portions of fruit and vegetables every day, preferably 10 portions, but they don't expect miracles in today's climate of McDonalds and KFC (cheers America).
For the record, I don't ingest a lot of sweeteners. I drink mostly fruit teas or plain water. I have the odd can of Diet Pepsi, but I have health issues that mean too many fizzy drinks make me ill, so I keep it to an occasional, rather than a regular thing.
I know that if I want to lose weight I have to eat less and exercise more - it ain't rocket science. However, the eating plan I'm following doesn't count calories per se. Instead, we eat foods that are relatively low in energy density, which means that they are low in calories for their weight. It's called Food Optimising. If you're interested, you can read more about the eating plan here
Slimming World - discover the amazing you. We're also encouraged to keep a food diary, which I do religiously. I know exactly what I'm eating, but that doesn't make the compulsion to eat go away.
I don't have an oral fixation. I have a food addiction, an addiction that isn't taken very seriously in this country, but can be just as damaging to your health as alcohol or drugs. The difference is, you don't have to drink alcohol or shoot heroin to live, but you have to eat, so I'm exposed to my drug at least 3 times a day, which doesn't make life very easy for me. I've tried chewing gum - I chew it all the time, although more from a dental health point of view than as a hunger-fighting measure - but this doesn't stave off my cravings either.
As for your exercise tips:
i) I can't ride a bike, as I have problems with my balance
ii) I only get half an hour for lunch, which means I barely have time to eat, never mind go to the gym
iii) I work 9-5 and the boss expects me to be there between those hours. I don't have luxury of setting my own work schedule.
Do keep your pearls of wisdom coming, though. I need to be wound up more than I already am by some smug know-it-all who's only got a few pounds to lose.
Great way to empathise - not!