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Originally Posted by grneggs  thank you all for all your supporting words... there hasn't been any changes in what i'm doing. the only thing that has changed is that i want a change more than anything. i started school, and has a lot of things going on.. but nothing i can't handle.. after my initial blog, i was determined to be more aware of what i eat and to reduce my caloric intake. But it didn't happen. i am aware that i eat all the time, and my choices are sooooooooooooo poor. i'll have a healthier meal at home, when all i want to do is to drive to mcdonalds and buy the big mac meal. I am sooooooooo depressed. is this what drug addicts and alcoholics feel like?? like they really want to change, and stop... but can't???? then, why am i so judgemental of those people??? i have so many good reasons to be healthy.. but i'm determined to hurt myself.. i read everyone's blogs here.. and there are so many of you out there that are so determined and are doing what needs to be done. even if its little things, its things to improve the quality of life. i couldn't tell you how many years have gone by where i've been so hateful of me, and how my life is... i haven't been happy in so many years... always this in the background. i was noticing all the pictures in my house. i'm not in any of my pictures... only here and there... my kids are growing up, and there's no real significant envents that i can show where i was present with them. because i hate myself in the pictures. my kids are missing out on a healthy, happy mommy. instead, they get this.. which is not the real, happy me. i don't mean to bring anyone down... reading this will not motivate you guys..and i apologize... but i feel so depressed all the time.. and i really don't have anyone else to discuss this with. i'm so ashamed of myself.. |
*hugs*
I think it's always tough starting out loosing weight. I think everyone needs that little bit of success at the start to motivate them, but if you don't get that, it's tough to stick something out if you don't know if it's going to work.
Do you keep a food journal? This can help you keep track of when you're eating, and how much, and how many calories you're eating (I use it to keep track of my exercise too). Go out and buy yourself a little day by day journal with lots of writing room on each day.
Maybe you're like me and you need things in writing. Write out how you feel, write that you're not happy with how things are right now, write what you feel you're missing out on. But don't stop there. Write that you can change, write that you can be happy, write that you have the self control to make things better and be a happy, healthy person.
Another key to helping yourself stick to your new healthy lifestyle, is to just not have the bad stuff in the house. I tried buying healthy stuff for me, and more junk type stuff for my fiance (who could eat three fast food meals a day and still loose weight), but the junk food was too temping. You need to empty your house of all the stuff you know you shouldn't be eating. You need to talk to your family and let them know you're making this commitment, and I'm sure they can feel how unhappy you are, and they'll be ready to help and support you.
I found that if I didn't keep an excess of money in my chequing account, that I wouldn't be as temped to go out for fast food. If you always spend cash there, stop carrying cash. Switch up your routine to exclude the splurges that you know you shouldn't be making.
I have a friend who is trying to drink her 4 bottles (250 ml each) of water everyday. So in the morning, she gets them out, fills them all up, and carries them with her until she's done them, whether this be to work, the gym, out grocery shopping etc. She says sometimes it's a bit heavy, but it reminds her of her weight loss goal, and that she needs to make healthy choices during the day.
Wow, this was a lot of advice. No one expects you to make all these changes overnight. Trying making little goals, like this week I'm going to start my food diary and write down everything I'm eating (even if you splurge and don't know how many calories it is, write it down!). Then next week you could stop drinking soda/whatever and starting drinking your water.
Little steps = Big results!
Please keep us updated. Everyone here is full of great ideas for any problems that may arise, you just need to find the right fit.